I am sick. I have a cold. It's been kind of miserable for the last couple of days, but even before that I felt extra tired and just yucky.
On top of that, I've really been struggling with what I call "sleep deprivation induced depression" - though at my six week checkup last week, they were inclined to just call it postpartum mood disorder or something to that effect. It involves some depression, a lot of apathy, and a new somewhat bipolar approach to life. I'm also learning that eating sugar makes me less able to moderate my own emotions... I'll let you imagine the potential vicious cycle that can lead to. (Or, just look the 130 lbs I packed on over the years. That should be pretty self explanatory.)
So, I'm focusing on what I can do about it. I am really TRYING to get enough sleep. I have actually counted my hours of time actually asleep at night, in an effort to get up to 7 hours between what I get at night and naps during the day. With being sick right now, I would really like to get a little more than that - especially since I've been down between 4 and 6 hours lately (6 being a really good night/day).
I'm also focusing on feeding myself better. I have put a lot of effort over the last few years into improving the quality of my eating experiences; this has meant eating more real food, unprocessed and prepared from scratch when practical. The biggest thing I"m currently struggling with is eating at all. I don't notice when I should get hungry. (I think I actually do get hungry, but I've trained myself into ignoring it...?) So, feeding myself is becoming my next priority after sleep.
Finally, today I am returning to exercise. I have been walking (relatively slowly) on my treadmill as I typed this; I liked the cardio training I had started doing, but I think a slower, gentler workout is wiser until my immune system is less preoccupied.
I am doing some things well. Yesterday I drank at least 3 quarts of water - maybe closer to four - and I'm sure that's why my cold seems better today. I am also actively seeking more ways to take care of my self, like playing music that I like and paying closer attention to my social needs (especially since I've been staying home with my baby since Christmas, and I"m planning to continue staying home for another month or more.) Most things that I can do for myself - like take a long, relaxing bath - require someone else to be home and available to take care of the baby for me. I certainly do those things when I can! But with two older children with homework, school, church, and occasional music and sports activities thrown in there - sometimes neither they nor my husband is available until 9or 10 at night. I want to increase my own, independent self care, that will not be as affected by daily circumstances and schedules of others.
Also - and this is actually my highest priority, for the next few months when the need is most intense - I'm taking care of my baby with all of the needed patience, even when he is fussy and never sleeps more than 5 minutes at a time (except for one, 1-hour nap) in a 14 hour stretch - which is what he did yesterday. i am grateful he did that on the weekend, because I don't think I could have handled a weekday like that on my own. Today, he woke up crying twice in my first quarter mile ion the treadmill - though he seems to be resting better now. I am sure that life will get easier when both he and I are feeling better.
If I have readers, and if they are willing to comment, do you have other suggestions for me on self care, especially while taking care of a baby?
And now, my baby is awake again, though at least he is happy for now :)
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